So You Have an Autistic DM

Acknowledge Questions & Share Specific Feedback

When I ask you something about your character or the game, know that I've already stopped myself from asking ten other things that day. By the time I bring it up, that question is usually the missing piece of a much bigger puzzle I've been building in my head. Until I get an answer, it sits there like a browser tab I can't close — generating low-level anxiety in the background.

You don't need a perfect answer right away. Even a quick acknowledgment makes a huge difference:

"I'll think about it and get back to you in a couple days."

That alone gives me permission to pause and move forward without feeling stuck.

When it comes to feedback, I genuinely want the honest stuff — especially the critical stuff. "Everything's fine" actually makes me more anxious, because there isn't a single thing in my life I don't have ideas on how to improve. Specific thoughts tell me you're engaged:

"I think this rule might slow combat down." "This magic item feels really thematic."

That kind of engagement reassures me that all the effort I'm putting in is worth it — and helps my overactive brain stop spiraling into overthinking mode.

Be Clear About Plans

When I bring up group ideas — going to a convention, getting custom shirts, whatever — it's not idle chatter. By the time I mention it, I've already been mapping out logistics, costs, and schedules in my head. So if you respond with "yeah, that sounds fun," my brain is very likely to treat that as confirmation and start locking things in.

If you're not sure or need time, just say so directly:

"Let me think about it." "I'm interested but not committing yet."

That saves everyone a headache and keeps me from overcommitting on something the group isn't actually ready for.

Understand Game Day Energy

Game day is a big deal. By the time you walk through the door, I've already spent days — sometimes weeks — mentally preparing. I've run through scenarios, adjusted encounters, and thought about how things might play out from every angle.

So if I seem quiet or distracted during pre-game hangout time, it's not because I don't care about catching up. My mental energy is already locked into game mode, and switching between social mode and DM mode is genuinely difficult for how my brain is wired. Once the session starts and I'm behind the screen, everything tends to settle into place.

Keep Table Talk Focused

The structure of running the game is what calms my brain down. During the session, I'm fully consumed by it — tracking everything, staying in the world, keeping the flow going. When something pulls me out of that focus, it's not just a minor distraction. It breaks the rhythm that keeps my anxiety at bay, and it can be hard to get back.

I love when you guys joke around and have fun at the table — that's part of the experience. Just try to keep the tangents brief so I can stay locked in and keep crafting the best session I can for everyone.

Set Boundaries When Needed

I know I can go overboard sometimes — deep-diving into owlbear ecology at dinner or sending you a wall of D&D thoughts on a random Tuesday. If you ever need a break from it, just tell me directly:

"Hey, let's pause this conversation for now."

I won't take it personally. I genuinely want to respect your boundaries — sometimes I just need help seeing where they are.

Call Out Issues Kindly

If I ever seem short, dismissive, or rude — please tell me, but gently. Sometimes my brain gets overloaded in the moment and I don't realize how I'm coming across.

"Hey, that came off a little sharp."

That's all it takes. Trust me — if something goes sideways during a session, I'm already going to replay that moment in my head for weeks afterward, analyzing what happened and figuring out how to avoid it next time. Your feedback just helps me get there faster.

Be Honest About Your Needs

I care deeply about making this a great experience for everyone at the table — but that same intensity means I sometimes overthink things or miss signals about what you need as players. If something isn't working — the pacing, the tone, the difficulty, anything — please just tell me directly. I'd always rather hear it and adjust than have someone quietly not enjoying themselves.

Recognize Passion Over Perfectionism

All of this intensity comes from the fact that I love this and I want to share it with you. It's not about controlling every detail or expecting perfection from anyone at the table. I don't need you to match my level of obsession — not even close.

All I really want is for you to engage in whatever way feels natural. Roleplay your character a little deeper, get invested in the story, or just show up ready to play. That's more than enough.